How does a real estate agent and mother of four living in Marin suddenly find herself, within a year or two of her kids going to college, working on Center Court at the US Open, as well as acting onstage as the lead in a San Francisco play?
Everyone approaches an empty nest differently, but few have done so with more energy and sense of adventure than Germana Fabbri. When her full, active household of four daughters and husband was suddenly quiet after the kids left for college and beyond, Germana found herself wondering how to spend her time. While continuing her real estate work in Marin, CA, Germana opted to take advantage of her newfound time and energy and seek out and embrace new experiences and opportunities. She decided to ‘say yes’, is loving it, and is an inspiration to those around her.
We sat down with Germana to discuss how she decided to embrace this new phase of her life, how she went about it, and to see how it’s going!
First, please tell us about your background.
I grew up in Darien, Connecticut, outside of New York City, and moved to the Bay Area in 1987.
I’ve been reflecting a lot, and I realize I am who I am because of the environment in which I grew up. Living in a New York suburb, the train to New York barrels through our town and every parent, and at that time it was kind of every dad really, commuted into New York. So I would say I’m very much a product of a New York suburb. My mom, in her early days, worked at Life Magazine, and I was lucky because she got me my first internships at what was Time Inc. I got to work at Sports Illustrated, People Magazine, and Life Magazine during my college summers and that was sort of my first foray into the working world. It was really challenging and really fun. But by that last summer I didn’t know if I wanted to live in New York City. This was when it was under Mayor Koch, and it was kind of dangerous and dirty and grimy. So when I graduated from the University of Vermont I moved to Boston and ended up working at Bain and Company for a couple of years. And then I thought I just really didn’t want to do this. The job is so quantitative, and I’m really, honestly more of a creative person. And had always wanted to work in TV. But they pay a pittance and I couldn’t afford it to be honest!
So, I moved out here (to SF) when I was 24 and got a job at KPIX Channel 5. I worked at ‘People are Talking’, a daily live talk show, coming up with ideas for the show. It was like Phil Donahue or Oprah Winfrey and I was coming up with ideas and then actually producing the show and helping with the live audience on a daily basis. And then I got moved to the news, and that was really fun, because I got to work on special reports. And I loved it, but honestly could barely afford it because I just got paid such a minimal amount.
I interviewed to work for what at the time was considered an NFL expansion team and ended up being the marketing director for ‘NFL expansion’ working at the Oakland Coliseum to bring an NFL team back to Oakland. That was a blast, to say the least, because our job was to convince the NFL owners that Oakland was a sustainable city to hold an NFL team. Long story short, we ended up bringing the Raiders back and it was a huge success and super fun. I then segued into a sports marketing job at Visa working on their sponsorship of the US Ski Team and the Olympics. And then we actually started a US Decathlon team. And then, because I always have itchy feet and I’m ambitious, I realized that my bosses were never going to leave and saw that merchandising and licensing are a big part of sports marketing. I fell into this other job doing promotional merchandising, Red Sail Merchandising, which was kind of a startup at the time. I went back and pitched Visa and got the Visa account. Went back to Time, Inc. and got the Time Inc. account. So I did that for the next 10 years, until I was pregnant with our 4th child, and I was 39. My mom, who worked in real estate, said, ‘I think it’s time you get your real estate license’ because I was so tired and didn’t want to commute into San Francisco any more! And that was 23 years ago and selling residential real estate in Marin is what I did while raising my kids…and still do now.
Which brings us to now. We’re empty nesters, and here I am. I’m doing real estate, which is great. It’s been a fantastic gig, but I really really love sports. And I just love that whole world of events and hospitality and marketing.
So what were your first post-empty nest changes?
I did a deep dive on the Internet and ended up becoming a contractor for a marketing agency based in New York whose client is Goldman Sachs, and I helped them put on events in California, from San Francisco to Los Angeles.
Then I ended up doing another deep dive on LinkedIn and found the U.S. Open. I went deep down a rabbit hole and found a position I wanted. And yes, I Iive in California but my mom was in Connecticut, so I could make it work by staying with her during the Open.
So when I interviewed for the U.S. Open I easily made it past the 1st round but then the second round was like Hollywood Squares on Zoom. I answered the most important question incorrectly, which was, ‘Are you a team player?’. I said how much I love working for myself, running my own business etc. Wrong answer. They told me I was out and I was like, ‘This is ridiculous! I am overqualified for this job. This is absurd.’ So I got on ChatGPT and wrote the best email back, saying, ‘You must reconsider me.’ And literally 30 seconds later, they replied, ‘Oh, hi! We’ve got a better position for you.’ And it was the perfect 3-week-a-year job for me.
So the message there is to hang in there and keep trying! I ended up being the Center Court Club Host. And it’s really, really fun! We put on 2 parties a day for 14 days in a row. I officially work for the USTA, and they have 2 luxury boxes that they’ve put together, American Express sponsors it, and we put on a day party and a night party for their guests. And you wouldn’t believe the people our age who try to sneak in! It’s really funny, like everybody’s had too many ‘honey deuces’, the tournament’s signature cocktail. Even a friend of my cousin’s tried to sneak in, and I busted him! I’ve done this job the past two summers and am looking forward to this summer as well!
So tell us how you felt when your kids left home and the process you went through regarding what to do with the next stage of your life.
You mean, like the midlife crisis? For me it was a 3/5 life crisis!
For me, it was a combination of trying to get comfortable with what was uncomfortable and then trying to also have it be the year of ‘yes’. So anytime somebody asks you to do something, why not go for it? Even if you don’t know anything about it, or you have no talent or background, or whatever, why not go for it?!
I felt like I had so much time. There suddenly was zero demand on my time. It’s like 17 hours in the day were suddenly free because we don’t have to get up and get anyone anywhere. Every night, no one’s doing homework. You don’t have to go to the store and buy poster board. We don’t have to make dinner if we don’t really want to. I was so exhausted having kids. And now I’m not tired at all. There’s nothing to tire us out now!
You could choose to do a lot of other things. You could choose to do nothing. But you’ve chosen to really throw yourself into a lot of different things. We love that.
Well, thank you. But I would say that goes back to being raised in an environment where everybody is working. Everybody’s going to work. And you know they’re working to put food on the table. So I feel like I’ve been working since I was 16. I just come from that kind of culture. Not that we didn’t have a ton of vacations and all that. I’m just kind of used to it.
Where we live in Marin I don’t know a lot of women who work. I’m surrounded by a ton of very educated, wonderful, incredible, talented women, many of whom gave up work a long time ago to raise kids. So I needed to figure this out on my own in a way.
So you’ve done the nice combination of saying yes to things that come to you, but also seeking things out as well. Tell us about the play you’re currently the lead in. How did that all happen?
That is so funny. We had a show today actually! There is an organization I just learned about two years ago called the Children’s Theater of San Francisco. It is 90 years old and it is a nonprofit volunteer organization that has about a hundred female members. About 35 of those women put on a play every year for 6,500 San Francisco Unified School District children at the Presidio Theater in San Francisco, that holds 600 people. We have 400 kids come twice a week for 7weeks, and these mature women put on a play for these elementary school children, and then weekend performances are for friends and family.
You get sponsored to join the organization, and then when admitted, if you would like, you can audition for the play. And it’s really funny. I thought you had to audition for the play. I’ve never been in a play before in my life. So two years ago, when I became a new member, I auditioned because I thought you had to! Last year I was “Tootles,” a Lost Boy in Peter Pan and this year I’m helping produce the play, and I am James in James and the Giant Peach.
Do you enjoy it?
It’s kind of fantastic! Such a long time ago I wanted to be a TV producer and I worked at Channel 5 and I I loved it. I just love the whole space. I love the whole genre. I love the whole entertaining area. I like it from the production standpoint. I like it from the acting standpoint.
What kinds of things do you say no to?
I don’t say no to that much! I just love sports and entertainment. I love anything that’s entertaining. I think show business is too much of a broad thing, but to me there’s nothing more fun than going to a Broadway play. There’s nothing more fun than watching a match at the US Open. I love all that stuff. I say, “No,” to cooking! Not my favorite. 😉
And it seems that you’re super tight with your kids and husband?
My mom passed away in July, at over 99 years old, and I grew up with so many sound bytes from her! My mom was just always, always, always giving advice along with her opinion, and she just instilled in us that family is most important. It’s just about family and friends, but really, honestly, and even on her deathbed, it was just family, family, family.
Is there anything that you haven’t done that you would love to do?
To be totally honest I fantasize about working in New York. It’s unfinished business since I didn’t work there after college. I would like to do my own pretend secretive gap year I think!
I’m still a little bit itchy, even though the last thing I want to do is give up my lifestyle here! We all have the most incredible lifestyle, but I find the suburbs actually like a teeny bit…
I don’t want to say boring… but like it’s suburban, right? And we’re not in the school system anymore. So it’s kind of like, what’s my function?
I don’t know about you guys, but I feel like every woman I know is chomping at the bit a little bit. They all want to ‘do something’ but don’t know how to do it, or they don’t have someone to do it with. You’ve got to make it happen!
What advice do you give to women whose kids are leaving home? They’re getting a little itchy about wondering what to do next.
Well, first, backing up, what I try to tell my girls is this. I had so many friends who stopped working when they realized they were going to pay the caregiver or the nanny the same amount as they were making in their marketing firm or ad agency, or whatever they were doing. That’s when they just said, ‘Okay, I guess I’m out of the workforce,’ and then they never continued or never pursued paid work again. And then, here you are, 20-25 years later, and what is the reentry plan? How do you even reenter when you quit your job at 29 or 31, or whatever the case may be? So my first bit of advice is, and take it or leave it, but I would say to young women to try to work part-time. Keep your foot in whatever door you want, whether it’s corporate or whatever. Even if you’re not getting paid very much, I would stay abreast and stay current so that you can reenter later if you want to.
And then for women our ages, I mean I’m struggling with it myself, regarding how do you reenter? I think you absolutely have to stay with it on your own and be a continuous learner. For example, I’d say today, we should all become experts in AI, whether we want to or not. You’ve got to know what’s happening. You’ve got to know what’s going on, so that we’re not dinosaurs, especially if we want to get back into any kind of corporate job or office job. I’d also say to be tenacious. Don’t give up. Get comfortable with rejection or denial. Just get comfortable with it. It’s not a big deal. It’s a good experience.
Let’s talk about your perfect day. What are the ingredients you’d like to have in your perfect day?
I like to have a plan.
I would love it if it was extremely active. And I also am really social. So I’d love it if it’s kind of day jam-packed with seeing people.
I’d love to have a day that is jam packed. So the perfect day is probably waking up and having a few tennis games, and maybe a paddle game in there. And then, I mean, this isn’t realistic, but because you’re saying ideally, I’d then like to spend the afternoon skiing. I’d then come home and take a shower to get ready for an incredible lecture. I’d go to the Marin Speakers bureau, or go to some class, or be invited to a dinner party with the most interesting people.
We are exhausted already from your perfect day. But let’s talk about your perfect dinner party. Who do you want at your table, dead or alive?
Why don’t we have a lot of political figures on both sides? And then sprinkle it with Timothy Chalamet? And then we’ve got to throw in some comedians, so let’s have Jon Stewart and Bil Maher. And then we need some athletes, so let’s invite Travis Kelce, Sabalenka and Sinner. Djokovic would be the most interesting though. And then the woman who was Prime Minister of New Zealand – she seems pretty amazing. And my husband of course! Should be an interesting dinner!
Germana’s Fab5 Tips for Creating a Big Life After The Kids Leave the Nest:
- Say ‘Yes’ to new opportunities that come your way AND put yourself out there to CREATE new opportunities.
- Surround yourself with the people you care about and the things you love doing.
- Have an honest conversation with yourself (and your partner) as to what you want for the next stage in your life.
- No guilt! No shame! No regrets!
- GO FOR IT! Make your life bigger, not smaller.
